Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Thinking Back and Thinking Ahead.

For some reason the past few days it has really hit me that there is a chance we will lose "I". I mean if you request the WACAP photo album, he is in there. He is still considered waiting no matter how much I want to go and get him.

A good friend reminded this week of the times we thought we had lost #4 and how through it all she was ALWAYS ours. Ups and Downs of families interested in her. Another Family was having "On Hold" papers typed up for them. That is pretty far in the process. And yet it never worked for them. And she waited. Just waited for us.

I have to remind myself sometimes that He has the control. All of it. And that if "I" is ours NO ONE on earth can change that! No one.

But I am Human and sometimes I worry. Worry that we aren't going to get started soon enough and we will loose him. And my heart aches for him.

Even with saying all of that....deep in my heart I feel for him exactly how I felt for her :)


4 comments:

Tisra said...

My husband and I were just talking about this last night as we held Dorothy in our arms- we knew she was ours when we saw her picture! Just knew. I got sick thinking that anyone else would put a contract on her before we could officially change to India and the new agency. I had "fight" in me and wanted to battle for her if it came to it, and I didn't feelt hat way about any other child.

I can't guarantee that it will work out perfectly for you to have "I", but I know that if he truly is YOURS, no one- NO ONE!- will be able to do anything about it. Seeing that he hasn't been claimed yet, I feel like he is being protected for you and I understand why you ache to bring him home.

Hang in there!

Mark and Wendy said...

I know it's easier for you to say it than to believe it, but you're right...if God truly intends "I" for your family, you don't need to worry! And if He intends "I" for another family, then you know God has another perfect plan in mind that you can't even imagine yet. Heads or tails? Both good! Praying for the peace that passes all understanding for you...

A Stafford said...

Thought I'd add that our family did have a child that we "lost" in the adoption process, when another family who was preferred because of their Indian heritage got him on "hold" a day before our paperwork was ready. That happened this week 2 years ago--and as you know, this week 1 year ago we were in India picking up our darling daughter.

Thanksgiving 2007 I was so depressed. The son I thought for sure would be mine was not going to be mine. I didn't know how I would ever find another child.

Although it was gut-wrenching at the time, it led us to Anju (she was featured in the same waiting child article on rainbowkids as the child we "lost"), who there is no doubt in my mind was God's intended addition to our family.

I want you to be encouraged that if "I" is in God's plan, your own track record certainly shows that He can make anything possible- but also aware that his vision is so much wider than ours in these situations- seeing opportunities beyond the scope of our comprehension or view.

Praying for you and your family (as always) in this time of uncertainty and waiting.

Lalena said...

I know the wait is hard and long. You are always afraid that someone else will come along. Then I always remembered the children that we didn't select. I looked for them each time I got a new catalog and soon enough, they were adopted. Their mommy and daddy found them. If "I" is meant to be yours then it will be.