Chapter 1.......

Where does our adoption journey begin? Even I am not completely sure. Was it when I was in 2nd grade and there was a set of grandparents at our church having a hard time raising their grandchildren and my parents "wondered"? Maybe. Was it during my pregnancy with my first baby, and my Mom fell in love with a little boy with a less then ideal life that she wanted to adopt so badly? Maybe.

The first time I remember thinking about adoption for my family was April 12, 1998. The room was quiet, everyone was gone. I sat in the hospital bed with my newborn son on my lap. I gazed into his eyes and thought how awful my life would have to be to give him up. That day I wanted to give an orphan a home. Fast forward 16 months…….August 12, 1999 we gave birth to twins. Needless to say adoption didn't come up in conversation much with 3 in diapers, and 2 on formula! Then in December 2000 my husband decided to be "done" having children. While at that point I agreed with him I didn't want to do anything permanent. But I signed the papers anyway, for him. It wasn't long after that, that I wanted to adopt. I talked, talked, and talked about it. He really didn't feel adoption was for him. Finally after "talking" he agreed in November of 2005 to let the official research begin! I joined adoption groups, talked, live and breathed adoption. We had mailboxes full of packets from different agencies. How do you decide which one to deal with, from which country? Everyone in the groups seem so "called" to go to a certain place. Here we were with NOTHING! I prayed before I looked at paperwork. I always wanted God to move us not us move Him. Nothing seemed to be moving in the right direction. We tried one agency AA and right away they sent a picture of a little girl. Right away I knew she wasn't who we were looking for. But I totally convinced myself she was. We had found our #4. We went to send the payment. Someone else had come forward for her already. I can't lie I was heart broken, even though I never really thought of her as mine.

Our finances have always been the biggest hurdle. Will God really take care of us? Again all the people on these groups seemed so "together" with their adoptions! Money was always right there when they needed it. For one, two, even three adoptions. Then hubby tells me "I only said yes because of you not because I truly feel this is something we are supposed to do" WHAT??? So we pray "take her desire away or give him the desire"

At this time we sought our preachers advice about adoption. He said I think you should wait a year. Seek God's Will for your lives. I was mad, I don't want to wait I want her now. Finally after a few months, I got frustrated and feeling very alone I went to seek MY WILL FOR MY LIFE. I vented about our financial hurdle on a homesteading group I was on. Another adoptive Mom said, "try WACAP". Little did I know that would change our lives forever. At this time we had a missionary from come to our church, he started an orphanage there. I remember thinking, "India, huh?"

I did contact WACAP. At the end of 2006 we received the World Association for Children and Parents information packet and the photo album. I was so excited!! I was a little surprised to see they work in India. It wasn't the more "popular" places to adopt from. I went to a quiet room and looked at the photo album. Page after page of pictures, there she was "N", born April 2005. Flipped page after page. All I saw was "N". I called WACAP, "I would like "N's" File". We can send it to you but we need to tell you there is another family with registered interest. Ok never mind how about "S". We got the other file again I had convinced my self this was our child, knowing that she wasn't. The doctors report came back. Ouch! Special needs way out of our league. Then we get an e mail the other family can't adopt "N" would we like her file! YES!!!

I remember the day (January 2007) I got her file in the mail. I was talking on the phone with a good friend of mine. I just said over and over, "I'm falling for her! I'm falling for her!"

At this point we hadn't even started our home study - we need to get going! We start the process only to be denied months later. WHAT? How could God do this to us? Keep in mind my husband was still not "on board" with the whole adoption thing. And there I was struggling so hard to go forward! Wondering why God was not answering my prayers. Things for the next few months seemed to go from bad to worse. First we get an email from WACAP another family is interest in "N" and they are home study approved already. Heart broken. Then comes the questions of how can we afford this? Even after we pay for the home study how will we come up with the WACAP fees? Oh me of little faith God had a plan! I was just being impatient!

So I waited, I'm sure with a bad attitude, but I waited. In June our pastors son preached. The whole time all my husband heard was, "How much God loves orphans" and the "desire" hit him full force!!! Then we get an email that the other family can't adopt "N". When we first found "N", she had a subsidy. A donor had paid for half of her adoption. During this "rough" road of our journey WACAP decided to make her a promise child. Meaning her adoption would be over half paid for!! PRAISE GOD!!!

I contact WACAP tell them about what the first agency says regarding our finances - they say to try somewhere else we don't see the same problem they do. Find a new agency, tell them everything UPFRONT and they "talk" get back to us and say YES!! Our social worker calls to make the first appointment, she says "next month" I explain the "N" situation and she says I'll be there Friday and type it up over the weekend!!! Thank You God!!!!! This also was about a year after we talked to our Pastor.

Then in August 07 the worst thing happens another family with their home study approved decides to adopt "N". WHAT? How can God do that to us??!!?! WACAP is typing up the "on hold" papers for them. Again insert heart break here!!!! Well lets keep moving forward, maybe just maybe but really what are the chances that a family would back out at that point. Then we get an e mail form WACAP - the family has decided not to go forward with her adoption. We need to write the orphanage a letter and send a picture of our family to be "pre approved". I just thought we had nothing in our favor. And the picture we sent was a joke, I don't think boys are smiling, and I have a weird look on my face! BUT our God had other plans!!!!!!! They say Yes when can your home study be done?

As I type this I am marveled at what God has accomplished on our behalf!!!

AND




YEP we are dossier to India folks!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Our paperwork is on it way!!!!!!!!!
I CAN NOT believe it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!